A good babysitter is a playful and creative person, responsible and full of common sense, says psychoanalyst Sylviane Giampino. Once reassured about her skills, parents must trust her so that she can develop all her qualities.
The start of the school year is approaching and, with it, the need to find a babysitter, who is both friendly and trustworthy. What are the criteria to remember, knowing that the choice may be limited, and that perfection does not exist? Beyond the classic recommendations (friends, previous employers), it is important that the person corresponds to the style of the family – rational, curious, fanciful… – to better integrate into it and develop all its qualities. Parents will prefer “motherly” and soothing dispositions for a toddler, a real taste for play and awakening for an older child, supplemented by pedagogical skills to supervise homework from the first grade onwards.
“Regardless of the child’s age, a good babysitter is above all someone who is playful, affectionate and creative,” notes psychoanalyst Sylviane Giampino. It must also be responsible, sensible and reliable, to promote the development of secure bonds and avoid a turn over that would be detrimental to the child’s stability. “Once their choice has been made, parents will gradually adapt so that everyone can learn to appreciate themselves and find their rightful place. “She is neither a girlfriend, nor a domestic worker, nor a bis parent,” says the psychoanalyst. It is up to parents to dictate their instructions – rules, activities, meals, bedtime… It is up to them to ensure that they are respected in a flexible manner, without imposing or punishing. »
In the early stages, they will ensure that the relationship is established. A knowing smile, from this point of view, says as much as words. Once reassured, they will give him the freedom to offer what they may not be able to offer: the practice of activities they do not like – soccer, colouring… -, the discovery of another culture, other relational modes. The child’s world will be enriched at the cost of their trust and respect for this otherness.